--"Breast" wishes, PONDERING PARENT IN PROVO.
DEAR PONDERING: Let me tell you a story that I think might answer your question. I was visiting a friend one day and while we were in her living room chatting her son came out and intimated that he was hungry. Whereupon my friend lifted her shirt and let the boy latch on. When the boy was full he detached and said, "Delicious!" Do you think that boy is too old to be breastfed? I like to use a simple phrase to help me remember: "If the kid can speak, stop the leak". I would also recommend picking up the following video at your local store:
DEAR DOOFUS: I'm a recently married 20 year old. I have no doubt that my husband loves me but three times in the past month I've walked in on him oogiling the Sears catalog. What should I do?
--CONCERNED IN COLORADO
DEAR CONCERNED: Knock?
DEAR DOOFUS: My husband is trying to convince me to watch p0rn with him. He claims that the bishop says it is OK to watch p0rn as long as you do it with your spouse. This doesn't seem right. Can you help me out here?
--PEACHY WITH P0RNOGRAPHY?
DEAR PEACHY: Your husband is absolutely right. When you boil it down it is basically a numbers game. Some sins that are verboten when done by yourself become permissible and, in some cases, even encouraged when you become married. This is one of the benefits of marriage that they don't often talk about.
I've provided a handy matrix below that should help you out. Notice any patterns?
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| Sin vs. relationship status matrix |
Have a questions for Doofus ex Machina? Email him at astutedoofus@gmail.com
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