Advice Column: Doofus ex machina

DEAR DOOFUS: Related your discussion on the size of oil vials, some of the members in my ward have begun to ask to see documented lines of authority before accepting blessings.  One elderly near-blind sister shouts "Show me your papers!" in a rather aggressive manner, and uses a magnifying glass to examine the priesthood heritage of several people until she is satisfied. Needless to say those with the shortest lines back to Joseph Smith and the three witnesses seem to be called on more frequently than the rest of us.  Those whose lines include favored priesthood holders such as Bruce R. McConkie, James Stewart, or Eliza R. Snow seem to be particularly busy.  Mine reads like a simple list of names and dates, while some seem to have additional sought-after details such as "who was ordained whilst surrounded by angelic beings in a blazing ring of fire", or "who used their priesthood to bind up Satan for the duration of conference."  What can be done if your pedigree is lacking? 
--Onesimus