Pick up lines to use at your next LaDaSa church function

From our friends at @OnlyMormons (follow them now!) come some incredibly useful pick up lines. 60% of the time they work every time. Just don't forget to invite me to your wedding.

Girl, are you the First Vision? Because your brightness and glory defy all description...

Girl you're so hot you could have burned Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego...

Hey girl, wanna hold the priesthood? Then come over here and give me a hug...

So last night I was reading the book of Numbers and I realized I don't have yours...

Girl are you an apricot tree? Because you get my popcorn poppin...

Girl you are like the workmanship of Laban's Sword: exceedingly fine...

Girl that is some fine twined linen you've got going on...

What's a Celestial girl like you doing in a Telestial place like this?

Girl even if I lived in the 1800s I wouldn't marry another person once I got you...

As always, if you have any 'news' tips or would like to see a certain topic covered, email us at astutedoofus@gmail.com. We'll give you props in the story

Pres. Uchtdorf responds to the clown who shouted "Amen!" at the end of his priesthood talk

In case you missed this (fast forward to the very end).

As always, if you have any 'news' tips or would like to see a certain topic covered, email us at astutedoofus@gmail.com. We'll give you props in the story

Rare photo of Steve Martin teaching Gospel Doctrine

A lesson on not being a jerk, maybe?

If I'm ever in a church court I hope Bro. Cooper is on my side!

I don't know about you but I would have sung more heartily had Sis. Manson been my primary chorister.

The mission certainly packs on the pounds, doesn't it Elder Reznor?

As always, if you have any 'news' tips or would like to see a certain topic covered, email us at astutedoofus@gmail.com. We'll give you props in the story.

Mormons in Utah are upset after losing the title of ‘Home of the Most Embarrassing and Socially Awkward Public Stunts’

PROVO - After a Mormon missionary was proposed to in an obnoxious manner in the Oklahoma City airport, Utah LaDaSas are panicking. We spoke to Jathan Scott, BYU student and president of the Provo chapter of M.E.S.S. (Most Embarrassing Social Stunts) and asked him what the big deal is.

"You have to understand, the BYU chapter has won the MESS award for the past six years," explained Jathan. "We almost lost when those clowns up at Ricks did that lame-arse backward singing video. Luckily the MESS judges saw it for what it was (white-bread garbage) and awarded us the trophy for our brilliant Easter prank."

This time things are different. The MESS trophy went to the Oklahoma City chapter. Grand MESS president J. Brown Brownstein explained this year's upset. "We really wanted to shake things up. Honestly, there are so many dorks in Utah/Idaho that we needed some diversity. OKC gave us that opportunity," Pres Brownstein said.

So what does Jathan plan on doing to get the trophy back next year? "I don't want to give too many details but lets just say it will involve a LOT of bologna and shaving cream and one unnamed general authority."

As always, if you have any 'news' tips or would like to see a certain topic covered, email us at astutedoofus@gmail.com. We'll give you props in the story.

Kitschy art, pt. I

I have a great love for kitschy Mormon stuff, whether it is art, sculpture, oil vials or tchotchkes. I want to share my love with the world. Enjoy this first installment.

Original found here: www.docbox.org


As always, if you have any 'news' tips or would like to see a certain topic covered, email us at astutedoofus@gmail.com. We'll give you props in the story.