Friday, March 29, 2013

LaDaSa teen crushed when patriarch proclaims he wasn't a general in the War in Heaven


PLEASANT GROVE - A local teen received devastating news today when he was given his patriarchal blessing. He had visited his stake patriarch with high hopes but came away severely disappointed. We caught up with Kaden Jathen to get the full story.

"All my friends were getting their blessings," says Kaden. "And without fail they all were really pleased with the content they were hearing. You know, stuff like being generals in heaven and helping to cast Satan down to outer darkness in the pre-existence. One of my friends' blessings says he'll go on his mission to Idaho but then he'll be called to open the Chinese mission. Another of my friends was told that he would marry a '10' and live in a mansion. All really cool stuff."

So what about his blessing didn't he like? What did he feel was wrong with it?



"First of all, the patriarch talked about the war in heaven. But he said something like 'You were pretty valiant in the war in heaven. You rose to the rank of short colonel and there you served fairly well'. Then he gave me  my lineage and he said I was from Reuben. Really? Have you read about Reuben in the bible? Talk about a loser. Even Jacob said so when he blessed him."
Kaden Jathen, post blessing tears
Kaden continued, "Don't even get me started on what he said about my wife. I was expecting the usual 'You will find your eternal companion and be sealed in the temple.' Instead I hear 'You have a great personality and you are a sweet spirit. Don't ever give up your search for a spouse.' All in all I have to say I was really disappointed."



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